A Petition to Keep Jeff Bezos from Returning to Earth has Reached 100,000 Signatures

A Petition to Keep Jeff Bezos from Returning to Earth has Reached 100,000 Signatures

Next month, Elon Musk will become the world’s richest man technically when his space rival and Earth’s richest man, Jeff Bezos, will be launched into space on his first human flight to Blue Origin. If there is a way to appeal, Jeff Bezos will float in space with his brother and have an awkward chat with a mysterious ticket holder, who is banned from Earth forever.

The Change.org petition simply states that “billionaires do not have to be on Earth or in space, but will decide whether they want to be there.” A competing application, with exactly the same goals, collected only 25,000 signatures. “Jeff Bezos is actually disguised as the owner of Lex Luther, a super successful online retail store. However, he is the real orderly Norbent in favor of global domination,” the tongue-in-cheek petition probably says. “We’ve known this for years.”

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A Petition to Keep Jeff Bezos from Returning to Earth has Reached 100,000 Signatures

It is alleged that the Bases worked with the Knights Templar and Free Masons to control the world. “He’s also denying the flat earth in bed; that’s the only way they’ll let him leave the atmosphere. Meanwhile, our government stands and lets it happen. This could be our last chance before they enable and perform 5G microchips, a mass takeover.”

Fortunately for Bezos, both appeals did not create an executive plan to save him from a safe return to Earth’s atmosphere. If they come up with something out of the ordinary, then they have to re-think their position. The 10-minute flight will see crew at speeds in excess of 3 GS before the capsule is detached. At this point, they can unravel and feel the effects of weightlessness before returning to re-enter Earth’s atmosphere three minutes later. 

Passengers will land in the West Texas desert with the help of a parachute deployed by the capsule, where the landing crew will meet them. To keep him in space with only a three-minute window, their best hope may be that he remembers the request and is sad enough to change the course of the flight himself, heading to a less hostile planet, where the request has not yet been discovered, and similar petitions in the future, the maximum number of signatories for two.

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