The New York Times accidentally published an article claiming that the presence of watermelons on Mars had been confirmed. The piece appeared on their site yesterday under the headline “Field of watermelons on Mars, tell police” before being immediately removed. Fortunately, most people were able to archive the article, so we can all learn about the first life discovered outside of Earth. The article went into surprisingly little detail about the confirmation of extroverted life, but it probably reflects the frustration we finally face if we come in contact with an exotic species and it’s a watermelon. Imagine the first acquaintance and what they want to talk about is their superiority over pips and hives.
“The FBI declined to comment on the news of the watermelon rain, but confirmed that the Kiwis had been intercepted,” reads the now-deleted article. “This story is very disturbing.” The article was certainly not a scoop. If the New York Times is not already in the pocket of Big Martian Mellon or is under any kind of alien threat, we may face the fact that it was published by mistake, as confirmed by a small update to the site. “The page now says,” An article on stimulation for testing systems was unknowingly published on this page.”
Everyone has lowered your watermelon saying, Martians are off the menu. For a little insight into how this might happen, publishing sites occasionally create test articles, if any changes have been made to their website. All you have to do is upload an image and text in a simple article. An annoying person without anything to write about can claim that watermelons are on Mars for eclipses, similarly a bored teenager can write “boobs” on their calculations as if it’s going to be a quick test, just to be sure.
Companies will also upload articles to prepare for events they know of, for example, if a study is banned. In large corporations they can even prepare a premature death announcement for the public and leave it unpublished in their person’s system, ready to go after that person dies.
